But only when I'm not working through things. I mentioned earlier that I think my relationship is about to end. I've just got a feeling, so every time I'm not occupied with something else, then my mind immediately goes to the grieving of what I'm losing. It's stupid.
School just started for the semester. My last for my Bachelors. I'm ready to be done with this aspect of my life. It's time to move on to the next bit.
I found out my ex-husband had a baby recently with his third wife (I was his second). That's nice for them..but maybe they could have named it something that WE hadn't decided upon when we were trying to have kids. I can't have any, by the way. I say it's okay because I have 17 nieces and nephews. Yes, 17.
I finally got back on skates tonight! It was great. I was worried because I fell down some stairs about a month ago, but my ankle was just a little sore. This is awesome. I really need to skate more. Tonight was scrimmage night for all of our teams except our travel team. I got to see all my favorite people. It was nice.
I'm taking lots of Vitamin D3, as directed by my doctor...it's not helping with the sadness.
I think that I'm not eating as much as usual, either because subconsciously I'm all, "I'm gonna write that in the blog" or because I'm going further down my rabbit hole. The last time I felt like this, I didn't eat for days. I just didn't feel like it. That normally doesn't happen. Normally, I just eat and shop. I listen to tv and eat and do something else. But I never not eat. It doesn't really matter.
I should really do homework. The first bit is due Friday. I probably won't until tomorrow night.
Today I ate 2 glazed chocolate donuts, a soy cappuccino, cheese sandwich, cottage cheese, carrots, cherry tomatoes, jalapeno cheese stick, 2 black bean sliders, some Thai potato chips, juice, hot & spicy ramen.
Today I bought nothing.
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